VintyNellie on navigating dealing with cancer and her beauty career (2024)

It was during a nightly scroll that I saw the video that led to this article. After a few Real Housewives memes and red carpet pics, I was served a beautiful, bald Black woman, makeup free. The video was called ‘radiotherapy on Black skin’ and the content creator’s name? Nellie Robert. As she held her breast, she showed the hyperpigmentation left on the folds of her chest, underarms and neck. It sparked a kind of light bulb moment for me; of course, I thought, you’d experience this skin change when undergoing cancer treatment on Black skin – why hadn’t I seen this before? Hyperpigmentation is literally caused by trauma to the skin, where melanin rushes in as the skin heals, naturally it would be no different when the body is undergoing cancer treatment. It was then that I realised that I had no idea the depths of the effect that cancer and treatments have externally on the body other than losing your hair. And I hadn’t really seen or heard from what it looks like for a young Black woman.

Cancer is complicated and each experience is unique but seeing the journey through the eyes of someone that looked like me, like us, was a first and was poignant in my understanding of how treatments can affect your hair, skin and nails. Nellie’s content is from the point of view of a 20 something-year old Black woman that has a deep connection with beauty.

Once she understood what her cancer journey would look like health-wise, what did it mean for what her connection was to what she looked and felt like? She created the content that she didn’t see in any of the spaces that she existed in, online or IRL. Here she speaks to Cosmo about her journey…

On discovering lumps…

After giving birth to my second child (I have three now), I went to my discharge appointment and I was about to enquire about contraception. But before that, I said to my GP, “By the way, I've got a lump on the side of my breast and my armpit.” So, she examined me, and she referred me ASAP to the breast care unit at my hospital for a biopsy.

When she examined me, she confirmed that there are two lumps there. She said, “Look, whether they're cancerous or not, I needed you to have come to me sooner.” In that moment, I started crying. She scolded me about that in such a loving way, though, I think because she's a person of colour too [Black women are more likely to die from breast cancer than white women and Black women are more likely to be diagnosed at a younger age].

After getting a biopsy, they confirmed that it was cancer – Stage 1, Grade 3. The stage means how severe the cancer is. So, Stage 1 is the best-case scenario. Grade 3 is how quickly it's spreading, so it had spread from my breast to my lymph nodes.

On the physical side effects

The 27th of December [2023] was my first round of chemotherapy. Since then, I’ve had eight rounds of chemotherapy. The first four rounds were a drug called the EC drug (Epirubicin Cyclophosphamide), and then the last four rounds were a drug called Paclitaxel [both drugs aim to treat cancer by killing cancer cells and stopping them from multiplying and spreading). They're very different from each other and the side effects were very, very different.

With EC, the number one side effect is hair loss. So, that's when alopecia comes in, and I kid you not, it was a couple days after that my hair was falling out very, very quickly. So, that's when I decided to take control of the situation and just cut it off myself. I could not witness the hair loss, it felt like my body was failing me. Then my nails had discolouration – they completely went black. And my brows and lashes fell out too.

Radiotherapy then took things to a whole other level. It’s pain-free, I will say, but you can physically see the effects on your skin. It’s why I started my platform called Touchy Feely, to talk about the way cancer and treatments present on Black skin.

I found that, even with the data and the media leaflets that I received from Macmillan, I just didn't see what radiotherapy looks like on Black skin. When I was given leaflets to go home with there was not a Black young woman or a pregnant woman – of which I was both. I remember feeling like ‘is this just happening to me?’

That was the driving force behind Touchy Feely. It was to help storytelling, to encourage talking about cancer within the Black community.

On creating content

My DMs and my emails are flooded with Black women coming to me like, “Oh my God, I've just been diagnosed. I didn't know what to expect, now I know what to expect. Thank you. What products work well for me?” And that was where I really took a deep dive into skincare and body care.

I do remember thinking to myself, I hope I'm not glamourising cancer? And that was a thing that I had to make a conscious effort with. But then I was like no, because I was this person before cancer. Essentially, this is me, and beauty has always been my first love. And I'm not glamourising cancer.

Cancer and Black beauty

Cancer isn’t just hair loss. It's just the Hollywood version of cancer, where you just lose your hair, you get skinny, and then you die. That's literally what people think of cancer. And it can be the opposite – you can gain weight. I gained so much weight and that was because of steroids – they gave me steroids to make the drug manageable, otherwise, you can get super weak.

Your skin is literally the biggest organ. With my beauty routines, it was really sad because of so many of my faves stopped working for me or gave me rashes because the chemicals were too harsh on my skin. But in a way, I was grateful, because it forced me to explore beyond my staples, and now I really dig deep into the science behind the skincare; it's unlocked a whole new world for me. It’s where I matured in my skincare journey. I actually care about what's in this now, and not just caring about the fact that I have, I don't know… dewy skin.

During treatment, your skin's sickly dry, like, it's so dry. I got very irritated when I would use creams that were a little bit too thick. It just felt like my skin couldn't breathe because it's just so sensitive.

Hair-wise, I've never had a big relationship with my hair. I could wake up and decide to do a big chop tomorrow or to bleach it blonde the next - my hair has never been a big part of my identity in that way. I do believe that it can be your crown, but then you don't also need to let it define you as a person. We can be proud, but just know that you are not any less without it. And that was why I didn't wear any wigs and I just went bald throughout my journey. I have two daughters, and I know that there's going to be a point in life that I'm going to have to explain all this to them. I want them to see that I was bald, and I was very confident and comfortable with it, because I don't want them to be defined by their hair, not at all.

When you're losing your hair, it feels like someone is pulling it out of your scalp and it's like your scalp is reacting to your hair falling out. It honestly feels like your scalp is on fire. And I remember, at the time I had a bob, and sometimes I'd forget to put my satin bonnet on and just sleep. But then there was a time I did that, and I woke up and I had a migraine. I sat up, turned around to get my phone, and there was so much hair on the pillow. I shouted to my husband, "Babe, wake up! Look at my hair, it’s gone." I put on the satin bonnet as I thought it would help preserve it but when I took it off in the morning there was so much hair in it. The same when I brushed it through, so I had to cut it.

Seeing my scalp like that made me turn to oils and serums to keep my scalp moisturised until my hair grew back, which took about three months. My disclaimer with that is that genetics play a massive role, it's different for everyone.

Regarding hair texture, a lot of people say that the texture changes, and I didn't find that, but I've always had somewhat loose curls. Maybe it's gotten a little bit looser, but it's not a dramatically and it was phenomenal seeing my hair grow from the scalp. I could see my hard work. I felt like a farmer!

Cancer and beauty products

Fragrance used to be my signature thing and it broke my heart because it just wasn't agreeing with my skin – I think maybe it was the alcohol. With Paclitaxel one of the side effects was that you are just super itchy and you get these pains like pins and needles for hours. I had to also avoid retinol – I had to let my body recover before I used it. I also kept my body routine simple with brands like Dove and Palmer’s.

Regarding beauty and cancer, what I will say is, don't be afraid to still live life on your terms – especially when it comes to beauty. I think sometimes, you know, when you have cancer but we do our makeup and we get glam, but then we have a bald head, sometimes we worry about what people say. You wonder if people think: “Oh, she must be fine now, if she's still able to keep it together and still show up at these events and do that and look this way.” But I think it's important to live in your beauty truth.

When you're a beauty girl, you're a beauty girl, and not even cancer can take that away from you. And I just want people to fully embrace that.

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